Your Church Isn’t Friendly. It’s Familiar
A lot of churches think they are friendly because the people in them genuinely like each other. They laugh, hug, catch up in the hallway, and share coffee before the service. But that is not friendliness. That is familiarity.
There is a big difference.
Familiar churches are warm to the people who already belong. Friendly churches are intentional about the people who do not, at least not yet.
If you have ever visited a “friendly” church and stood alone in the lobby while everyone else talked to each other, you know what I mean. You can feel invisible in a room full of smiles. Churches rarely mean to be cold, but familiarity can create invisible walls that make newcomers feel like outsiders crashing a family reunion.
Want to know how friendly your church really is? Ask someone who is new. Did they get greeted? Did anyone learn their name? Did anyone sit with them or follow up after service? You cannot measure hospitality by how happy your members are. You measure it by how seen your guests feel.
Most people do not leave a church because of bad preaching or weak music. They leave because no one connected with them. True friendliness takes more than a handshake at the door. It takes genuine curiosity and care. It means noticing who is alone. It means stepping out of your circle and inviting someone into it.
A truly friendly church trades comfort for hospitality. It looks for lonely faces, learns names, and builds bridges faster than cliques.
So next Sunday, take a look around. If all your conversations are with people you already know and love, your church might be familiar but not friendly. And the good news is, that can change the moment someone decides to walk across the room.